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Things You Can’t Do In The Land Of The Free

Independence Day has always been one of my favorite holidays.  In fact, if Thanksgiving didn’t land squarely on the intersection of food, football, hunting, colorful leaves, hoodies, and cool weather, the 4th of July would be the undisputed champion of my holiday list. Independence Day is one of only a couple holidays that hasn’t yet been completely adulterated by irrelevant mythical beings or stained by a liberal re-telling of history. Better yet, the copious commercialism surrounding this holiday is actually cool. Ask any red-blooded American to choose between easter eggs, plastic Santas, and roman candles, and see which one brings out the wallet first. Sure, some folks are more sentimental about other holidays, and not everyone enjoys fireworks, but there’s something uniquely American about the fact that we delight in that short-lived flash and boom enough to gather all over the country, and sit outside and tolerate heat, humidity, mosquitoes, and that one crazy neighbor with the mullet and the battery-powered boombox playing Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless the USA” for the… Keep Reading

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